Ep 138. You and Your Best Self

I am Kym Showers and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 138, You and Your Best Self.

Welcome to the Reinvented After 40 podcast. I am your host, Kym Showers, and I’m a certified life coach for women in the second half of life. Each week I’ll bring you direct advice and inspiring, practical wisdom to help you live your very best life and create a future you’re absolutely obsessed with. It’s going to be fun, let’s get started.

Hey, my friends, good morning. How are you today? This episode is coming out on the first day of my May 2024 client retreat. I am recording this a week ahead of time, even more than a week ahead of time actually. So I’m very excited. Of course, I’ve been extremely focused on planning for my retreat, I love it so much and it’s going to be phenomenal. It’s going to be fabulous. It’s going to be very exciting and uplifting and reviving and refreshing.

And what I want to do is just bring out the best in all of us and I wonder if that’s even possible. Is it possible for me to bring out the best in all of my clients that attend the retreat? What is the best and who is able to bring it out in us? So there’s me and there’s me and my best self. There’s you and there’s you and your best self. And I like getting very creative and very curious about who my best self is. I like to think of myself as my highest self, my future self, my best self.

I like to know that me being my highest self every day is creating exactly the life I want to live. It is creating the life that I’m obsessed with in the second half of life. I want you to know that’s possible for you too. I want you to know that when you realize that you are all you need, that is when you start this amazing journey of being on your own side all of the time. Of not being mean to yourself, but actually being the opposite of that, being so supportive of you, you supporting you, you cheering yourself on.

You knowing that you are very important and you are very valuable and you are very beautiful and you having your own back. So I want you to get creative about who your future self is. I talk about her all the time. I have a vision of who my future self is. She is my best self. And so I think about her often and I have her pictured in my mind. It’s me at my best. And it’s me loving my life and me showing up fully to my life every single day no matter what. It’s me not taking things personally and getting stuck in a spiral of overthinking relationships, overthinking words people have said to me.

None of that is really on my radar anymore because I am so focused and determined about everything that I do every day and I stick to the plan every day. And what my best self, my highest self, what she has learned to do is value her time more than she values anyone else’s. So I want you to see that that might be something that is in your way of loving your life and not being the best version of you every day. Is that you haven’t prioritized you and your time more than you prioritize other people and their time.

So as women in our generation, we were raised to not value our own time, but actually to put other people and other people’s time ahead of our own. And be more accommodating to them than we would ever require anyone else to accommodate us. I want you to know, that is in our way of being our best self. So get some awareness around this and start valuing your time more than you value anyone else’s time. That is step number one in becoming your best self.

Plan your days, line those days up with your goals and your highest self, your best self, your future self. Know that you are here to live a specific way and produce specific results in your life every single day. And when you value your time, you set yourself up to do just that, to create a magnetic life, this very productive life that you absolutely can’t wait to get up every single morning to live in the second half of life. There’s such a difference between being busy and being productive.

So I never say when people ask me, “What have you been up to”, I never say, “I’ve been so busy.” I used to say that, but I just say, “I’ve been so productive.” That sounds and feels so much more powerful to me. I have an intentional way that I’m living and I’m living towards my future. I’m living as my best self, as my highest self. I have me and my best self on my side every single day. And that is a very powerful partnership, I want you to know that. I want you to think of you and your best self. Your best self is your partner every single day.

So I did an event last Saturday that I think I told you guys about at my Orangetheory, they call it a dry try. So it’s their version of a triathlon. And I did the full triathlon and I did it for the very first time and I did very, very well, but my brain tried to talk me out of it especially the night before. My brain was like, “You’re not going to be able to finish. What if you get dead last? What if you hurt your knee? What if you’re too tired? You could easily cancel. You could do the sprint instead of doing the full.”

My brain was just really working against me, really trying to get me to either cancel it, bow out of it or make it a little bit easier. And I was just like, “No, we’re going to be fine. We are going to finish it. We’re going to finish strong. We’re just going to lay it out.” And if I do come in dead last, who cares? It’s me and me. It’s not me against me. It’s me and me. It’s me for me. It’s me supporting me. It’s me and my best self with me, cheering me on, empowering me to finish.

So I want you to know I did so well, but mostly I’m so glad I tried. I am so glad I didn’t cancel on myself and bow out ahead of time, which I know many of us do that. We quit on ourselves ahead of time because we believe our brain when our brain tries to talk us out of things that our brain is afraid to do. So I just say my best self, there’s me and my best self always with me. And my best self is fine being afraid and doing it anyways. That’s who my best self is.

She’s like, “We got this. It’s not going to be a problem.” And who cares if we’re in last? You know what? It’s actually quitting on myself ahead of time, bowing out of it just because I’m afraid I’m going to be lost. That’s where the failure is. There’s no failure in trying, trying something really hard and then finishing it. Who cares what place you come in? If you don’t try, how will you ever know what you’re capable of? How will you ever know who your best self is?

And my best self keeps getting better because I keep laying it out. I keep saying yes to hard things. I keep trying, even though my brain tries to get me to cancel and bow out of it. I just will not because my best self is pushing me ahead, pushing me to get stronger, pushing me to live my very best life and see what I’m capable of. You guys, this is what I know for sure, I am capable of so much more than my brain wants me to think I am.

So just that thought alone feels so powerful to me, because then I’m just like, “Sure, I’ll try that.” Because I really don’t care anymore if I come in last. I really don’t care anymore what people are thinking about me, because I’ve got me and I am enough. So I’ve got me cheering myself on. I’ve got me being my best self. I’ve got me not giving up on myself, not quitting on myself ahead of time. So I can trust myself and I want you to know this is a powerful way to live in the second half of life. Show up for yourself. Stop quitting on yourself ahead of time.

You are so much more capable than you think you are. Try a bunch of new things in the next few months. Just keep saying yes to things that your brain tries to tell you that you can’t do. What if you just question it every time and go, “But what if I can do it? What if I’m actually kind of good at that? What if I knew that if I practiced it every day that by the end of the year I’d be super good at that, wouldn’t that be fun? Wouldn’t that be worth the time and the effort?” Figure out some new things to get good at and get stronger at and get more capable at and grow.

My capacity to do hard things and grow my confidence at 63, I’m like, “Heck yes.” So I just want you to know there’s you and your best self always cheering you on. Your best self is your future self who has already accomplished everything you want to accomplish and she’s right with you all of the time. It’s you and you. It’s never you against you. It’s always you with you, you supporting you. You’ve got you and you can’t lose.

I’m just telling you, when you have got you and your best self with you all of the time, there’s no way you can ever lose anything unless you quit ahead of time, unless you just say no because you’re afraid. I don’t want you to say no to things that you’re afraid of. I want you to say yes to things that you want to get good at, even if you are afraid. And just try new things and grow your capacity to do new things and not worry about what anyone else might be saying or thinking or any of that.

And I was realizing that on Saturday, this was the first time I did this event but it was super hard. I was so proud of myself. I did very well. I did so much better than I thought I would. I realize how much stronger I actually am than I thought I was. But I noticed there were people that canceled right before the event and I know it’s because they let their brain talk them out of it. And they were worried about maybe coming in last or not finishing. And I want you to know, that is not a good reason not to try.

You probably are wrong about not finishing. You’re probably wrong about coming in dead last. Either way, it doesn’t even matter, but it’s so much fun. Life is so much better when we try, when we just try, give it a shot and just see what happens. And then afterwards, you guys, you’re going to be like me and I was just like, “When’s the next one? I can’t wait to do the next one.” And my other thought was, I’m so glad I didn’t opt for the easier version. I’m so glad I did the hardest version that they offered because then I was even more proud of myself.

Because that is my superpower now, I’m growing my capacity to do hard things and to do the hard things first, and to choose the hard thing, to not opt out for the easier thing. That’s my best self. She’s always with me and I have so much confidence in her. And I love this way of being as a woman in the second half of life. And I really want to pass this idea on to you today, that you’ve got you and your best self always with you, always for you, always cheering you on, never quitting on you, never being mean to you, always telling you that you can do it.

And giving you the power to do it and the inspiration to do it and the motivation to do it, that’s you and your best self. That’s me and my best self. Me and my highest self. You and your best self. You and your highest self. Me and my future self. You and your future self. We’re enough as partners. And we will get every single thing that we set our sights on, that we’re clear about, that we’re committed to, that we plan our time for. We get rid of a bunch of stuff in our life that is actually wasting our time. We stop procrastinating.

We stop overthinking things. We get really good at decisions, and we move on. We set our goal, we get clear about it, we’re committed, and then we’re consistent with it every single day. That is our best self, riding along with us, for us, cheering us on every single day. That’s the best life, my friend.

Alright, well, this is what I’m taking into my retreat week. This is just a snippet of what I’m passing on to my clients. I really am going to be their dream coach at retreat and motivate them, inspire them and encourage them and give them an example of what’s possible for them. The energy will be so powerful and life changing at this retreat, this is what I know for sure. So if you want to join my next group which starts in July, I have a very good offer for you on my website if you join early, come get in that group.

I’m selling my retreats from here on out separately. So I have a really affordable, really good offer for you right now. If you’ve ever wanted to work with me, now is the time. Come get in my July group. You will hear from me immediately and we’ll get to work together, creating you and your best self. Alright, my friend, I love you so much. Have the best week and I will talk to you next Thursday.

If you love this podcast, I invite you to come work with me. Go to kymshowerslifecoach.com, sign up for my next group and retreat, and let’s create your dream life together.