Ep 86. We’re Just Getting Started

I am Kym Showers, and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 86: We’re Just Getting Started.

Hey, friends. Welcome to Reinvented After 40, a podcast for all you women in the second half of life who are ready to take responsibility for your own well-being and create a life you love living.

I’m your host, Kym Showers, and after spending the first 40 years of my life people-pleasing and following all the rules, I was exhausted and ready for a change. I reinvented myself. I stopped outsourcing my happiness. And I’ve been brave enough to live a different kind of life.

I’ll be here each week to help you do the same thing. It’s going to be fun. Let’s go.

Hey my beautiful friends, welcome back to the show. It is a foggy day here at the beach. It is the kind of season that it’s sunny and warm one day and then the very next day is cold and foggy. And today’s a cold and foggy day. And I just want you to know, I am very in tune with my brain, what my brain wants to offer me every day. And I recognize the thoughts that it thinks is necessary. And my brain has a very distinct opinion when left to its own devices. And I just listen to it and then decide for myself how I want to think and feel about it.

So the foggy day today, my brain was like, it would just be so nice if it were a blue sky and sunny outside. And I said, “Oh yeah, that would be nice.” But I love a cold foggy day because then I get to just wrap up in my cozies and just kind of take it down a notch, because it does affect us. So I feel a little bit lazier when it’s cold and foggy. And I just decided, do I want to feel like that? And I kind of do, kind of fun when it’s cold and foggy. It’s just interesting. And then when it’s blue sky, sunny, warm, I have my shorts on, my short sleeve t-shirts on.

And my house is warmed up. And I feel a little more energetic, but I also, my brain’s like, well, you should be getting more done today. So my brain kind of puts pressure on me when it’s warm and sunny outside. So it’s just very interesting how my brain, and I’m sure your brain has very specific thoughts and ideas and opinions about everything including the weather. So just be on to it, but just know for sure that you don’t have to buy into any of it if you don’t want to. You get to decide how you want to think and feel about the weather every single day.

You get to decide how you want to show up every single day. And I’m so practiced at that now that I just love being the one in charge of my life and in charge of my own experience. I love owning everything. Who is better than me? This is my life, I get to own it. I get to own every single thing about it and I love knowing that. I just feel like the most powerful person in my life, and I am. And I want you to be able to say that about you and your life as well.

And I want you to know that, my friend, if you are over 40 which you probably are because you’re listening to this podcast called Reinvented After 40, if you’re in the second half of life, I want you to know, and this is a belief of mine, this is a practiced thought of mine. We are just getting started, really, truly, we’re just getting started. I think that all the time. I’m like, “Oh gosh, this is so exciting. I am just getting started.” I have so much I want to accomplish. I have so many new things I want to learn and get good at and I know I will.

And it’s very invigorating and it creates for me so much motivation every day because I remember when I hit 40 and when I was in my 40s and I was just kind of confused. I spent most of my 40s kind of confused and in my early 50s about the whole thing. What is this all about? And I questioned everything that I believed up until then, which I totally needed to do. And I hope you’re questioning everything that you’ve lived up until now, just question all of it. And know the best years are yet to come and that we get to own every day of every year yet to come.

And it’s our privilege and responsibility to live it to its fullest, to my fullest and to all of my potential. I am just getting started at the age of 62. I really do feel that way every single day. And I want you to adopt that thought, retrain your brain. It’s you and you. It’s between you and you. We’re just getting started. When your brain offers you all the fears, like the thoughts, dang, all your best years are behind you. Now what are we going to do? You’re not very good at very many things. All you do is raise your kids. Who’s going to hire you now at 40, at 50, at 60?

You’re too old really to create a whole new life or a whole new job or a bunch of new friends or you can’t really afford to do anything. Listen to your brain when it’s offering you all of these thoughts that you are just accepting as your reality. None of those are true. None of those are helpful. None of those are useful. My friend, you’re just getting started and you get to be the boss of your brain, remember that and realize that. What can you create in the next five years? So many things, so much.

So I remember and I may have told you this before, but what was a big jumpstart for me. And I do think I told you this very recently but it was so good for me. When my husband told me, when I was telling somebody that I was going to spend a bunch of time traveling and my husband looked over at me and he said, “Well, you’re going to get a job, right?” Or he said something like that, “That’s going to cost.”

Presuming or insinuating that’s going to cost a lot of money and we can’t afford for you to take off and do all these things that you want to do. And even though it pissed me off, it made me so mad. It was exactly what I needed to hear. It was like, this is so interesting. You’re right, I am going to get a job. I’ve got to create a bunch of goodness in my life. I am the one to create all the money in my life. I am the one that’s going to create all the goodness in my life.

If I want to travel the world then I’m going to go and figure out how to afford to travel the world because my husband doesn’t want me to travel the world on his dime that he’s created. Even though half of it’s mine, I am 100% onboard with that. It is half mine for sure. If I left him today I could take half of everything and go and do whatever I wanted with it. That’s not what this is about. It’s about my self-concept. It’s about my self-confidence. It’s about my capabilities. It’s about my genius, my value in this world, and what I’m here to do.

It’s not so my husband can go and make more money, it’s so I can go and create more money for me. It’s about what I can do in this next chapter of my life, in these next 40 years, how I can be the example of what’s possible for women in their 60s. The old idea of women in their 60s is like we’re done, we’re winding down and that’s just a big fat lie. We’re just getting started. We’re ramping up. I am ramping up. And all I do, you guys, every day, expand my brain, expand my view of what’s possible, expand everything that’s available to me.

I just get more excited about creating more in my life. So I want, just today want to offer you this shift in your perspective. Climb up here on the mountaintop with me and just take a look at everything available to you. Everything is available to you, whatever your genius is inside of you, whatever you’re really good at or what you really want to get good at. Your brain is just going to offer you on default, well, you’re not good at that, you’ve never done that before. There’s enough people that are doing that, what are people going to think?

You won’t be able to make any money at that. People are going to make fun of you. You’re going to fail. It’s going to take too long. You’re too old. Our brain is just digging its heels in and just, no, no, no, no all the time. I want you to know that if your brain is doing that on default and on repeat, this is everybody’s brain, there’s nothing wrong with you. But why you need a life coach, why you need me to coach you and why I need a life coach is to be onto our brain.

This is the only reason that we don’t go in the second half of life and create these big, bright, brilliant, beautiful lives for ourselves. It’s because of what our brain is doing to us, is offering us and keeping us so small and telling us lies like we’re too old or the best days are behind us. We’re too weak. We’re not smart enough. We’re not strong enough. We’re not good enough. We’re just not enough basically is what our brain is telling us. But I want you to know for sure you’re enough. I’m enough. We’re all enough. We’re smart enough. We’re beautiful enough. We’re brilliant enough.

And all we have to do is practice anything to get better at it, whatever you want to get good at. It’s going to take practice and it doesn’t matter how long it takes because we’re just getting started. We have all the time in the world, so let’s go. Every day matters. Every day matters, it does. And days just kind of come and go and come and go and come and go and then pretty soon, whatever we’ve been practicing, if we’ve been practicing something on purpose then we’re getting better at it.

If we’re wanting to build a business or write a book or start a podcast or open a restaurant or start an Etsy shop or be an influencer on Instagram, who cares how long it takes. Let’s just have some fun every day putting ourselves in a position where if we just keep practicing it, by the end of the year we’re going to be better at it. We’re going to be more confident and then more doors are going to open for us. That’s just how it goes. So it’s just like a little machine that we just keep feeding every single day and we do not believe our brain that we don’t have enough time.

Because one of my favorite thoughts is listen to me, I am just getting started, there is so much I’m going to do with my life. The best is yet to come. That’s another great thought, the best is yet to come you guys, doesn’t that feel so much better than the best is in my past, the best days are over? Heck no. We’re going to take all the wisdom that we have gained in the last 60 years, in the last 50 years, in the last 40 years and we’re going to keep building on that wisdom, on that joy, on that knowledge.

We’re not going to worry about the things we used to worry about because we know that that doesn’t even matter anymore. And just remember, I do think on purpose where I give my attention. So I want to tell you something. Where you give your attention, and I did a podcast on this very recently, what we give our attention to grows. So stop giving your attention to things that you don’t want, realize that you’re doing that. Stop complaining about things. That’s giving your attention to things that you don’t want.

Stop gossiping about people. That’s giving your attention to things you don’t want. Bring your attention like the boss that you are, be the boss of your brain, bring your attention back to the things that you do want. Focus on the things that you do want. Push ahead, push ahead, push ahead every day for the things that you do want. You’re going to have to rally for them. You’re going to have to vote for them. You’re going to have to cheer for them.

You’re going to have to be the most enthusiastic person in your life for the things that you do want because no one and you know this for sure now if you’ve been listening to me. No one’s coming to offer those things to you on a silver platter, you have to do it. You have to create them. So make a vision board, honestly, I don’t know if I’ve ever genuinely made the typical vision board, but I do write things down, I call that my vision board. I do have Pinterest boards. I do have a podcast, as you know. I do have an Instagram.

So these are kind of my vision boards so that I keep my focus, I keep my attention on the things that I do want. I’m always talking about the things that I do want. I have no shame in the things that I do want. I say them out loud all the time. No one can talk me out of them. I don’t care about anyone else’s opinion anymore. I used to care about everyone else’s opinions. You guys, this is how far I’ve come. I do not care about anyone else’s opinion but my own. That’s brilliant. That’s a brilliant way to live and it takes so much intentional work to get here. It is not easy, it is somewhat painful actually.

I have had to let so many people go. I’ve had to open up so much space in my own life so that I can grow my self-concept, so that I can value my own opinion because I’m just getting started. I’ve got me. And I’m the most important person in my life. I want you to borrow all of these ideas from me because you’re literally just getting started in your life. So do not sell yourself short ever again, give yourself all the credit for how far you’ve come. Do not spend any time indulging in self-doubt. Focus on everything that you do want, keep your attention there.

And do something every day to feed that machine, to feed that picture, to feed that vision of what you want, to feed that dream, because you’re just getting started. I’m just getting started, come with me. Okay, let’s go. It’s the most exciting life. Alright, that’s what I have for today. I love you all so very much and I will talk to you next Thursday.

Thanks for listening to Reinvented After 40. If you want more information or resources from the podcast, please visit KymShowersLifeCoach.com.