Ep 75. Life is Supposed to Be Fun

I am Kym Showers, and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 75: Life is Supposed to be Fun.

Hey, friends. Welcome to Reinvented After 40, a podcast for all you women in the second half of life who are ready to take responsibility for your own well-being and create a life you love living.

I’m your host, Kym Showers, and after spending the first 40 years of my life people-pleasing and following all the rules, I was exhausted and ready for a change. I reinvented myself. I stopped outsourcing my happiness. And I’ve been brave enough to live a different kind of life.

I’ll be here each week to help you do the same thing. It’s going to be fun. Let’s go.

Hey friends, welcome back to my show and episode number 75. I’m talking kind of quiet this morning because it’s super early and my sweet Jeff is still sleeping. But I have a full busy day today and this episode is due tomorrow. And I am leaving early in the morning for Newport Beach for three days and I’m so excited about that. I get to spend some time with one of my closest friends. I get to help her with some choices. Some decisions for a little remodel that she’s doing. So that’s going to be really special.

And maybe squeeze a little shopping in too because I do love to shop when I’m in Newport Beach. They have some cute stuff there. But anyway so I’m going to talk to you a little bit quiet right now because I don’t want to wake my husband, but I have a feeling I will. Our house is kind of noisy. We live in a little bit of a noisy house, our living space is upstairs, but our upstairs is really wide open and I don’t know, we can just always hear each other even though we try and be quiet.

But I really want you to think about your life and I want you to know that your life should be fun. I want it to be really fun for you. And it really is in your control. You can create for yourself as much fun as you want to have. And it starts with the way that you’re thinking about everything. And I love coaching on this, I love having fun. I love creating fun for my life and for myself. So many things are fun for me.

I want to tell you a little story. A couple of weeks ago I went to Washington, DC and I flew first class. That was fun. I really have decided that I will only fly first class from here on out for the rest of my life. So if I can’t fly first class I’m just not going to fly, I’m not going to go on my trip. If I can’t stay in a five-star hotel I’m not going to go. I’m going to just save my money and wait until I can fly first class and stay in a five-star hotel. That’s what’s really fun for me. I decided that. Now, maybe that doesn’t sound fun to you or maybe that’s not something that is important to you.

But I want you to decide, what sounds fun to you that you have always thought was maybe out of your reach, that you would never have. I promise you that it’s possible for you. You just decide how you’re going to go and get it and create that for yourself. That’s what I’ve done. I’m just like, “Yeah, I can fly first class. I can stay in a five-star hotel.” I just put my really smart brain to work, my creative brain to work and I figure out how to fly first class and how to stay in a five-star hotel. That’s really fun for me but that’s not even why I was going to tell you this story.

When I was coming home from Washington, DC on Friday we had gone to a really big event on Thursday night and say I stayed up super late, midnight or that’s super late for me. And I had to get up at three to get to the airport on time. We had a really early flight. I few with my cousins, a couple of my cousins, Jeff, and Christie because we were kind of heading in the same direction. They live in Santa Barbara. And so we flew our first of our flights from DC to Dallas, Fort Worth Airport.

And then they caught their flight to Santa Barbara, and I was catching my flight to San Luis Obispo. And they had a little bit more time, a little bit more leeway when we landed to catch their flight than I did. And I don’t know if you guys have ever been in the Dallas, Fort Worth Airport but it’s pretty large. This is a pretty large airport. They have a sky tram, I think that’s what they call it, the sky tram. And they have five different terminals. So we landed on one side of the airport, and I had 30 minutes from the time we landed, not even to the time we pulled into the terminal so that I could get off.

But I was up in first-class, so I really did just have this belief that I for sure was going to make it to my next flight. And so I just knew I was going to have to hustle and catch the right sky tram. And you know how I feel, you know how I think. Everything always works out. So as soon as the plane pulled up into the gate and we were able to take our seatbelts off I stood up. I went and was the first one off the plane. I pretty much ran to the sky tram. I caught the right sky tram. And I got to my terminal which was terminal D. I landed in terminal I think it was A.

And I got to terminal D, and I was like, “Oh, good, I have plenty of time. I’m going to catch it.” Well, the flight left, I think it was maybe at 9:15 in the morning. I was there at 9:05. I got to my gate at 9:05. And I could see the plane was there and all there was at my gate, there were no people. There were no airplane people. There were no American Airline people there to check me in. I had a first-class ticket. And the gate was closed, the door was closed. And on the huge screen, it said ‘flight closed.’ And I was like, “What, I’m not even late, it’s only five after.”

And so they knew I was coming obviously, they knew I was coming. They knew I was on a connecting flight. My assumption, my thought was they gave my seat away and they did not want to wait for me, so I took it personally as our brain does. My brain was just like, well, dang. Because on the sky tram, I was riding with this pilot, this American Airlines pilot and he was, “I just want to wish you good luck. And I also want you to know that they know you’re coming.” So I think he was giving me a little tip like if it’s closed, they gave your seat away. That’s what I made that mean.

But I really didn’t think they were going to give my seat away. That’s how I think, I’m like, no, they’re not going to give my seat away. They know I’m coming. I have a first-class ticket.” No, didn’t matter to them. They closed the gate, and they closed the door. And I was like, oh my gosh. I was kind of panicked. My brain was panicked. I was thinking since it was in the morning there was hopefully another flight to San Luis Obispo.

So I called Jeff, and he watches my flights whenever I’m flying without him. He knows where I am. And he usually will send me little emojis and he sent me a little emoji with fingers crossed knowing that I was tight in my connecting flights. So I called him, and I was upset. And I go, “I didn’t catch it. I didn’t make it, but I really wasn’t even late.” So I said, “Okay, I’ll be okay, I’m going to go figure it out.” So I went and found the gate that had the nice ladies that try and fix all of our problems for those of us that have problems with our flights.

And so I was coaching myself while I was in line. There were several people ahead of me, a few of them had missed the exact same flight that I missed and so they were upset. And I was like, “Okay, I know it’s not this lady’s fault. She’s just trying to make everything okay for us.” So I told her that I missed my flight. I’m trying to get to San Luis Obispo, what are my options? And really my only option was to wait 10 hours and catch the nighttime flight, the last flight out to San Luis Obispo. They only have two flights a day.

So there weren’t any other flights available to get me there that weren’t full. All the flights were full. So I had some coaching to do for my head and for myself and I did it. I was like, “You know what, I am going to have a fun day in this airport.” The thing was I was really tired because I’d only gotten three hours of sleep. I thought I was going to be home by noon on Friday. And so I was going to just unpack and have a very kind of nappy catch-up day at home but instead, I spent the whole day in Dallas, Fort Worth Airport.

But I had decided I was going to make it a fun day. So how could this day be fun instead, even though I was tired? I just wanted to enjoy myself. I wanted to create something that was fun for me. I didn’t want to ruin my own day. I didn’t want to be mad at American Airlines and complain all day long about not making that flight and how it was their fault, and they knew I was coming. Do you see how we do that? I could have ruined my entire day by unbelieving my brain. But instead, I decided to think you know what, this was always going to happen and it’s totally fine.

I was never supposed to make that connecting flight. I was always supposed to spend this day for some reason in this airport. Now, how can I make it fun? And you know I told you last week when I was telling you about how I always think about my life as a movie. Well, that’s a great example. This is a great example of how I did that. I just pretended this whole day I was in an airport. And really what I discovered about this airport is it’s kind of like a giant mall.

So I went and got a makeover at this little Mac store that they have in terminal D. I met this darling who’s a genius with makeup and I bought a bunch of new Mac makeup and had a blast with her. And I drank some yummy coffee in a little juice place, in a frozen yogurt place. And I downloaded a book and listened to a really great new book and listened to a few new podcasts. And then I put on some lovely music. And you know what I did? I explored all five terminals. I have that airport down, you guys. It was so much fun. I took all the sky trams until I figured out.

I rated all the terminals. What was my favorite to what was my least favorite. And any time I land at Dallas, Fort Worth I’m going to feel like I’m coming home to an old friend because I know it so well. And I found one of my favorite little airport restaurants that I decided at five o’clock I was going to go have a delicious salmon salad. I had already stopped by and looked at their menu and a delicious glass of Sauvignon Blanc. And I was going to sit there and do a little work on my laptop and have a delicious dinner.

And so I just kind of created this really magical day for myself instead of being mad all day. It was just a really fun day. And I made it home. I got home I think at 10 or 11 o’clock at night, I can’t remember. But I got home, and I was just so grateful for the whole experience that I had created for myself. And I want you to know, you absolutely can do the same thing for you. And it’s more just like my own practice, my own habit that I create for myself every single day no matter what’s out of my control that happens. I always go, “Okay, well, I wasn’t expecting this. I can’t control that, but I can control me.

And I’m the only, literally you guys, I’m the only one I have control of. Literally you guys, you are the only one you have control of. So we get to decide how we want to think, how we want to feel and how we want to show up every single day of our lives. And the more we practice being like this and managing our thoughts and being able to interrupt, this is what I call it, interrupt a painful situation that we know isn’t going to be useful for us and it doesn’t have to be. The more we interrupt that, the more we practice thinking thoughts on purpose, managing our emotions, feeling in ways that create a way of showing up for ourselves.

So we can create some optimism and positive energy wherever we go every day. I’m telling you it creates an absolutely beautiful happy life that we love living. So this is the example I wanted to give you today. I want you to know that life is supposed to be fun. I promise you, in the second half of life you can create a super fun life for yourself when you know it’s 100% up to you in spite of your circumstances. Circumstances are neutral until we think thoughts about them.

So that’s one example of a day where I could have spent it moping and being mad and tired and complaining. And I completely turned it around pretty quickly because I’m in the habit of doing this and I created actually are really fun day for myself that felt a little bit like I was in a movie. So that’s what I have to offer you for today. I hope that’s helpful and useful. Whatever the day is ahead of you I want you to practice this. How can I make this fun for me? It’s just a really great way to live.

Alright, I love you guys, have the best week, have a really fun week all on purpose and I will see you next Thursday.

Thanks for listening to Reinvented After 40. If you want more information or resources from the podcast, please visit KymShowersLifeCoach.com.