Ep 64. A Little Happier Every Day

I am Kym Showers, and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 64: A Little Happier Every Day.

Hey, friends. Welcome to Reinvented After 40, a podcast for all you women in the second half of life who are ready to take responsibility for your own wellbeing and create a life you love living.

I’m your host, Kym Showers, and after spending the first 40 years of my life people-pleasing and following all the rules, I was exhausted and ready for a change. I reinvented myself. I stopped outsourcing my happiness. And I’ve been brave enough to live a different kind of life.

I’ll be here each week to help you do the same thing. It’s going to be fun. Let’s go.

Hey, everyone, welcome back to the show. How are you? Happy December. This episode, 64 comes out on Thursday December 1st. Can you believe it? December 1st, 2022. I want to talk to you today about how you can be a little bit happier every day, maybe 1% happier every day just with a little shift in your attitude, a little shift in the way that you think about yourself. A little more acceptance of reality of the way things are. Learning to love what is and stop resisting what is. We become a little bit happier every day.

And also having these three main habits of getting enough sleep every night, of eating good nutritious food every day and exercising every single day no matter what. I am 100% sure that you will be 1% happier every day if you do those three things. Prioritize your sleep, prioritize your rest, prepare really delicious food, good nutritious food for yourself and get some exercise every day. Commit to an exercise routine. You will become a little bit happier every single day I promise you.

When we do not get our rest, when we do not get our sleep we’re cranky. When we put junk in our body we feel terrible. When we do not move our body, our body feels terrible and thus we feel terrible and are not happy with ourselves. So it isn’t that hard. I am recording this on Friday the day after thanksgiving. I am actually a little late. I was supposed to have this turned in yesterday but yesterday was thanksgiving and I was busy yesterday. And I didn’t prepare ahead of time. So I feel fine recording this today.

And it really is just an attitude I have. I never feel like I’m behind on anything. I always feel like I’m ahead. I always feel like I’m working ahead. And it’s just the way that I think about it. So I don’t put any pressure on myself, not even with this podcast. I always want this podcast to feel fun and something that I look forward to doing and nothing that I have to do. So we just got back from – I actually snuck away from my sister’s, we went over there for brunch this morning. We went to my nephew’s yesterday and had a beautiful thanksgiving.

And then on Wednesday night we were here at our house, and we call it chili verde night. So I just am obsessed with my family. I love my family. My sister and I are very close. We raised our kids together even though when we were raising our kids we lived in separate towns. I lived in Bakersfield, and she lived in Shell Beach, but our kids have become best friends. And now our grandbabies are becoming best friends. And it’s just pure delight and pure joy to be together. So we have had a three day thanksgiving, definitely overate food for three days.

And all you want to do when you overeat is just nothing, you just want to relax and not do anything. But after we had brunch this morning I go, “I have to go. I’m going to slip away and go record this podcast.” And they said, “Well, what are you going to record the podcast on? And I said, “I’m not really sure yet. I haven’t really thought about it.” So I talked to my daughter and my sister a little bit about it. I said, “Hey, about if I interview you two?” And neither one of them were up for it so that didn’t go.

Maybe I can talk one of them into it down the road because they’re both so interesting and so beautiful, I’d love for you guys to get to know them. But the reason I’m telling you this is because I just have noticed in my life with my family, with my friends, with my clients that really truly the happiest of all of us, and my family’s a pretty happy family. We’re pretty lucky that way, my sister is a very happy woman. She just has a way about her that just leans towards the positive. And her and I were talking about how the holidays for us are just pure joy really.

And we have created so many traditions throughout the years of growing up and then when we had our own families, and our kids just love our traditions, so we feel so lucky. And even my kids told me that some of their friends don’t look forward to going home for the holidays and spending time with their family. But my kids actually can’t wait to all be together. So I just feel so lucky and so blessed to have these traditions, and this family, and this attitude that we have. And we really do have an acceptance for what is. We have pretty good habits as a family.

We have very similar goals and very similar, well, I mean we never talk about politics but not everyone’s on the same page politically, but that’s totally great and fine because we don’t even talk about politics which is really wise of us. I just think that we have settled into this very easy way of being together and I just love that. And I think that, I know I’ve talked to you so much about what it feels like to be a mom who just stays in her own lane and lets her grown kids obviously have their own life. And my sister’s really good at that too.

And we just are here to love, and to support, and to enjoy them whatever paths they take, whatever they want to do, whatever their opinions are, whatever choices they make in life. We get to just love, and support, and enjoy them, that’s our job. And our job isn’t to think that we know what’s best for them. So I’m just going to remind you of that today.

And that alone will help you to be 1% a little bit happier, 1% happier every day moving forward if you just let go of the idea that you have better ideas for your grown kids than they have because you don’t, 100% sure you don’t. Unless they are ask for your opinion you just need to keep your opinion to yourself because really you’ve got to get out of their business and stay in your own business. Because the more time you spend in your own business the more beautiful and happier your life becomes. That’s how it works.

Everything grows beautiful where we water it. We plant the seeds and then we water the seeds. This is all in our own garden of life. We do not let our untrained mind go into other people’s business and spend any time in their lives or in their business where our minds don’t belong. So sometimes I’m just like when clients start talking about their kids or talking about other people. The things that they bring to me they should be bringing to me.

But if they’re talking about these things to other people, I remind them, “Why are you even having that discussion? Why are you even bringing that up? Why are you perpetuating or even creating a problem with that?” Because we do create our own problems and that is so helpful to know. Nothing is a problem unless we make it a problem and this I know for sure. So if I want to be 1% happier every day I train my brain to be okay with everything away the way it is, accept everything the way it is. And now what? Now what do I want to do?

I’ll tell you a little story about my car, remember, I got a new car this year and I absolutely am obsessed with it. It’s so badass. It’s actually a blacked out Range Rover. Oh my gosh, it is so gorgeous and so fun. But it had a little coolant leak. And I don’t know, I mean it’s the first time I’ve ever had a Range Rover, but I don’t live in a town that actually has a Range Rover service department, so I have to drive down to Santa Barbara. And they’re backed up like crazy. I guess that’s a very popular Range Rover place.

But ever since the pandemic, everything’s kind of been super slow. So I knew that when I realized I had coolant leak that it wasn’t going to be a quick fix. And my old self, the one that didn’t have a trained mind would have made that a problem. But you guys, this has not been a problem so what I did, it literally, it took me a month to get my car and to get it serviced. And so I just went to the store, to the auto parts store and I bought a bunch of coolant. And I drove around in my new car with this coolant. And I learned how to put it in.

And whenever the coolant got low I would just fil it up with coolant. And so it wasn’t a problem for me at all. And I wouldn’t even let it be a problem because I was thinking well, why would I make this a problem? Eventually it’s going to get fixed. It’s not going to cost me any money. I have a beautiful car to drive and so what that I have to put coolant in it every once in a while, not a problem. So my appointment was a couple of weeks ago. I took it down. I dropped it off. And it still is down there because they’re waiting on parts for it.

But they gave me a brand new car to drive for two weeks. So see, it’s just not a problem. But I’m telling you, the people that know that I’ve had this problem and that I still don’t have my car back. They think it’s a problem for me. I’m just like, “You guys, it truly is not a problem.” Because your brain’s like, well, it shouldn’t be doing that, and you just got it. Why would it be doing this. I was like, “Yeah, I don’t know but sometimes cars do that. That’s life, that’s what happens.”

And I’m still madly in love with my car, obsessed with my car. I will love it forever and it’s absolutely not a problem. So I’m giving you that example because I want you to know it did not rob me of one ounce of happiness of any day since the leak started. It is not a problem for me. So I want you to look at your own mind, your own life, all the little things that seem to want to be a problem in your life, all the little things that are going ‘wrong,’ that are just nagging at you.

I want you to know, when you learn how to train your thoughts, train your brain, you absolutely can be free of all of those little nagging thoughts that are stealing your happiness every day. Nothing in your life has to be a problem. And I know you’re sitting there and you’re going, “But Kym, you don’t know my life.” And I’m like, “Yeah, I do know your life.” I really do know your life. And I promise you that you can be happier every day if you want to even if nothing changes, even if all your circumstances stay the same.

You have the same amount on your credit card, you have the same amount in your bank account, you have the same health issues or whatever is going on with your health. You have the same relationships. You have the same job. You have whatever it is that your brain is saying, “If only this was fixed then I could feel better. I could be a little bit happier.” But I’m here to tell you that’s not true. You can be happier now. What if none of those things are a problem, you just decide that I’m going to think about something else.

I’m going to think about all the things that are going right instead of anything that is ‘going wrong.’ That’s how you grow 1% happier every day. You keep focusing on everything that’s going right. You do not give any airtime to the things that are ‘going wrong.’ Alright, so on this day after thanksgiving where I have eaten way too much food, and I planned it, and it was worth every single bite. I loved every single bite of it. It was so fun to be together with my family. And I love knowing that Christmas is ahead of us.

We have a beautiful month of December to just celebrate all the goodness of Christmas. I want you to clear out your mind, let go of anything that’s troubling you or weighing you down, or creating any anxiety in you. You don’t have to do anything this month that you don’t want to do. Keep everything as simple as you can. Be intentionally focused on getting at least eight hours of sleep every night, drinking lots of water, putting at least, you know me, 20 ounces of green juice in you every day, lots of protein.

And exercise every single day no matter what, even if it’s 15 or 30 minutes, it doesn’t matter. Those things alone will give you the month that you want. You will feel a little bit happier every single day and it’s so worth the discipline. It’s so worth intention. And it’s so worth the practice. It will definitely pay off for you. Keep things as simple as you can. Don’t worry about the little things. Don’t worry if things are messy.

And focus on just enjoying your people, enjoying yourself, enjoying your people and doing the things that create more happiness, more joy, more good feelings in your own life. It’s all important and it’s all cumulative. So do the things that make you happy and everything else will work itself out. And just remember, I really do like to think the thought that everything is exactly the way it’s supposed to be. And now how do I want to think and feel about it?

And knowing that I have total control of that is just a little shift in my perspective, a little shift in my attitude. It’s taking care of my physical body. And letting go of any past grievances, any past hurts, letting go of any guilt and shame, letting go of any regrets. And just focusing on what is going right today and then tomorrow focusing on what is going right today, and then the next day focusing on what is going right today. So that’s all I do. That’s all you have to do. Just keep it as simple, and clean, and clear as you can.

Okay, so that’s what I have for you today. I want you to just practice these small little habits and be consistent with them. And just know you can actually be 1% happier every day and that is so worth thinking that thought. I can be 1% happier every day, I’m in charge of that. And I will enjoy my life so much more because of it.

Alright, so happy December 1st. I love you so much for showing up and following along and being my podcast friends. Also this is your very last week to follow, rate and review my show on Apple iTunes to win these beautiful AirPods. I’d love for you to put your name in the hat, so do that. And also this is your last week to sign up to be in my very last group that starts December 6th, so just next Tuesday. It will be every Tuesday for six months at 10 o’clock. There will be three women max in that group. So it’s a super small group. It’s basically one-on-one coaching. You’ll get coached every week. It will change your life. That’s all I can tell you today.

It will literally change your life, you’ll love it so much. And also I want to tell you that for all my clients I am planning an in-person event in the spring of 2023. So if you’re client of mine now, if you’re a client of mine in the future you will be invited to an in-person retreat at my home in Shell Beach, California. So I’m really excited about that, and I can’t wait to tell you some more about that. So alright, well, have the best week and I will see you next Thursday.

Thanks for listening to Reinvented After 40. If you want more information or resources from the podcast, please visit KymShowersLifeCoach.com.