Ep 26. It’s All For Fun

I am Kym Showers, and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 26: It’s All For Fun.

Hey, friends. Welcome to Reinvented After 40, a podcast for all you women in the second half of life who are ready to take responsibility for your own wellbeing and create a life you love living.

I’m your host, Kym Showers, and after spending the first 40 years of my life people-pleasing and following all the rules, I was exhausted and ready for a change. I reinvented myself. I stopped outsourcing my happiness. And I’ve been brave enough to live a different kind of life.

I’ll be here each week to help you do the same thing. It’s gonna be fun. Let’s go.

Hello and welcome to the show. You know what this podcast is for? It’s for fun. I started this podcast because it sounded like a fun thing to do. And you know what my business is for, my life coaching business? It’s for fun too. You know what my marriage is for? It’s for fun. You know what my life is for? It’s for fun. You guys, it’s all for fun. Life, relationships, business, everything truly, we’ve got to stop taking our life so seriously and lighten up. Sometimes we just take ourselves way too seriously. I remind myself of this every single day.

If it’s not fun I’m not doing it. And who makes it fun? I do. I make it fun. And you do, you make it fun. We can’t wait for life to be fun. We have to bring the fun to life. Life is simply our playground. It’s filled with people, and games, and a track, and a field, and playground equipment and all kinds of opportunities to engage, and to play, and to compete, and to get strong and be brave. And try things we have never tried before, and meet people we have never met before. Observe, get curious and introduce ourselves, and laugh, and run, and jump rope and play, P-L-A-Y in capital letters.

It’s all for fun, this is my most powerful thought and my most favorite thought. I remind myself when I start feeling heavy, or lost in the weeds, or when I’m trying something new, and I’m being brave, and it feels risky, and I’m nervous or stressed. I tell myself, I talk to myself, remember, Kimmy, this is all for fun, we don’t have to do any of it. We’re choosing to do it. We want to do it. We like doing hard things because doing hard things is fun believe it or not. It’s fun because it’s the vehicle to creating a life we love living.

It’s the reason we’re obsessed with getting up in the morning. So, remember my love, and by the way, this is the way I talk to myself, I call myself love. Remember my love this is whole life is all for fun. This thing that you are committed to is just for fun and this thought lightens my entire mood and gives me space in my brain to find the fun in whatever I am doing. I literally don’t have to do anything I’m doing. I choose to do every single thing that I do every single day. I’m under no obligation.

So, because I think this way I’m able to create an extraordinarily fun life for myself. It’s me and me having all the fun. It’s like this secret little magical club that I’m in with me and it’s just a good time. It’s not like big fun things, it’s like a bunch of little fun things strung together. And little fun thoughts and little fun moments that keep adding up to a really fun life. It’s a steady hum of lightheartedness, and silliness, and finding the humor in things. Having fun is a decision we make. Fun is made by us. Fun is something we create, it doesn’t just happen on its own.

Having fun starts with a thought, a thought like, well, this is going to be fun, or how can I make this fun, or that’s a fun idea, or how fun is that. I’m always thinking those thoughts. Practicing thoughts that create the feeling of fun ends up providing a fun experience for you.

So today I’m teaching you three fun strategies that you can start practicing to make your life experience more fun without changing your circumstances.

Fun strategy number one. Fun is up to you. You bring the fun. It’s your job to create the fun in your life. You be the fun. You are the fun. If you want to have more fun in your life you must realize that it’s completely up to you. You can make anything fun if you want to. Notice when your brain offers you thoughts like, my job isn’t fun, or my coworkers aren’t fun, or that party wasn’t fun, or working out isn’t fun, or getting up early isn’t fun, or making dinner isn’t fun, or doing things I have to do is not fun, or growing older isn’t fun, or being married isn’t fun.

If you believe these thoughts that your brain offers you then for sure you are not having fun because our brain loves to convince us that things we do every day like our ‘obligations’ are not fun. Most people think Mondays aren’t fun. But listen, it’s not Monday’s job to be fun. It’s your job to make Monday fun if you want to. I decided to make Mondays fun in my mind. I decided this a long time ago. I love Mondays on purpose and look forward to them on purpose. And Mondays are fun for me on purpose.

It’s fun to be productive, and disciplined, and back on track on Mondays. It actually makes the weekends a lot more fun once we decide on purpose to make Mondays fun. Fun is a feeling created by a thought. When we think fun thoughts we create fun feelings and we carry that fun energy wherever we go, to the weekend and to Monday, like a traveling bucket of fun.

We bring the fun. We decide ahead of time to make the day fun, or the party fun, or our job fun, or the drive fun, or the remodel fun, or the move fun, or the time at home fun, or the challenge fun, or the workout fun, or the marriage fun. We don’t rely on anything outside of us to be fun. We’re confident that we’re going to make it fun on purpose no matter what. It’s a skill that we practice, and we get good at.

For example, Jeff and I are going to a wedding in a couple of weeks, and I told my friend who is making the seating arrangements to put us at a fun table. And then when I got off the phone I realized that, wait a minute, whatever table Jeff and I are at will be fun no matter what because it’s up to us to make it fun. We’ll bring the fun to the table. We’re always a good time. It isn’t life’s job to be fun, it’s our job. Life is exactly what we bring to it. If we want a fun life we become fun people who know how to have fun wherever we are and whatever circumstances we’re in.

So no more complaining that life isn’t fun because fun isn’t outside of you. Fun strategy number one, fun is up to you, you bring the fun.

Fun strategy number two. Lighten up and make fun a priority because fun is important. Fun is a huge part of a well lived, wise and purposeful life. Fun isn’t just for kids and it’s not some fluffy extra side thing that gets put off until the end if we have any time left over. Fun is for responsible people. Having fun is essential to our wellbeing as adults especially in the second half of life. When we lighten up and stop taking ourselves so dang seriously we improve our mental health, we improve our emotional health, and we improve our physical health.

There are scientific proven reasons to have fun as an adult. We learn new skills quicker when we’re relaxed and having fun. Having fun stimulates our imagination and can help us easily adapt to new situations and solve problems. Having fun improves relationships. Having fun reduces cortisol which means it reduces our stress levels. Having fun increases serotonin and releases endorphins which makes us happier. Having fun improves our ability to cope with problems. Having fun boosts our energy.

Having fun improves our memory and improves our concentration, giving us clearer minds. Having fun improves our connection with others. Having fun during the day helps us to sleep better at night. The habit of having fun every day and being a fun person does miracles for our overall health. There is no downside for you and for me to cultivate more fun in our life. We can’t have too much fun or as my granddaughter, Goldie is always saying to me, “Aww, this is too fun pippy.”

So, a useful question to ask yourself often and get in the habit of is, how can I make this fun? Or what can I do to make today even more fun than yesterday? Because your brain and my brain loves to solve problems and loves to answer questions like that. So, we can train our brain for fun. We can put it to work, and it will help us think lots of fun thoughts which will create lots of fun energy, which will cause us to show up to our life in a fun way. That’s how it works.

You don’t have to take a break from work to have fun. Learn how to have fun while you’re working. For example, there are many reasons I like shopping at Trader Joe’s. But one of the best reasons is that those employees are always having fun. It’s a vibe every time I’m there and it makes shopping so fun for me. It seems like they’re having a good time with their pals and then getting paid for it as just a bonus. They make work fun and it’s contagious. My guess is, maybe they don’t have a high rate of employee turnover because of it.

When we make work fun we create more positive energy and create more success, really success for everyone. I can’t tell you how much fun I have coaching. My clients can probably tell you. I just love it and I think it’s so much fun. Being an entrepreneur is fun for me. Doing hard things is fun for me. Making money is fun. Helping people is so fun. Creating a business out of thin air has been so much fun for me. Growing, and changing, and evolving is so much fun. It’s just all for fun. I just don’t take it all very seriously.

Having fun is a priority for me, it’s a value for me. If it’s not fun I’m not going to do it, that’s my thought. Having fun makes me a great coach. Having fun makes me a healthy, happy 61 year old woman. Having fun creates more love, and more goodness, and more kindness in me. For the rest of my life, I am going to have me some fun. I’m noticing and I’m focused, and paying attention because it’s so important. Fun strategy number two, lighten up and make fun a priority.

Fun strategy number three. Fun isn’t for later, fun isn’t for someday, fun is for right now. You know how our brain loves to trick us into thinking that there is better than here, like when we retire then life’s going to be fun. Or when we lose the weight then we can relax and have some fun. Or when I have x number of dollars in the bank then I’ll feel relieved, and life will be more fun or whatever it is that you think is in your way of being fun and having fun right now. It’s simply a trick and a lie because there isn’t better than here. The finish line isn’t where the fun is.

The fun is in the getting there. The fun is in the dreaming, and the planning, and the working, and the practicing, and the showing up, and getting stronger, and getting faster, and doing hard things, and trying new things. The fun is in doing what I say I’m going to do and being disciplined, and trustworthy, and brave, and taking chances. I already live the results of what I’m wanting. I act as if I already have them and that’s how I create them. It’s the opposite of what our brain is telling us.

Whatever feeling we think retirement is going to give us we can learn the skill of creating that feeling right now on the way to retirement. And when we do that for sure we will have a totally different experience at work right now. And whatever feeling we think we’ll have when we lose the weight or when we have the money in the bank we can create that feeling right now. And then losing the weight and saving the money will be so much easier and way more fun.

It’s like how I used to look forward to Christmas every year but then was always a little disappointed because Christmas day wasn’t everything I imagined it would be. Christmas didn’t deliver the fun and I had to figure out that it was never Christmas’ job to be fun, it was my job all along and all along the way. And I learned how to experience the fun of Christmas every single day in December for my sake.

So, you guys, you can learn to be in the fun energy now that you’re hoping happens some day in your future because fun isn’t for later, later isn’t a real thing, there isn’t a later. What’s real is right now. Fun is for right now in the exact circumstances that you’re in. And learning to relax and have fun now will give you everything you’re hoping for and more in the future. Fun is the secret and fun isn’t for later, fun is for now. That’s my fun strategy number three.

So, to recap, my three fun strategies for you to start practicing. Number one, fun is up to you, it’s your job to bring the fun. Number two, lighten up and make fun a priority because it’s important. And number three, fun isn’t for later, fun is for right now.

So, life is one big experiment. We’re simply making guesses, and trying new things, and looking for different ways of thinking, and seeing what works and seeing what doesn’t work. It really is all just for fun. Notice where you might be resisting it and then open up to having more of it. We need more fun people and more fun energy because it’s contagious, and helpful, and very useful. How can you make today fun? I plan on having lots of fun today. I’ve already had so much fun already and it’s only 5:30 in the morning. See, it’s all in my mind. It’s all up to me.

I get to decide, it’s a vibe, and a practice, and it’s always available to you, and to me, and to all of us. Fun is a choice we make and person we become. We’ll never regret being fun and having fun. There is only an upside. How fun is that?

So, thanks for being such a fun part of my life and this podcast’s life. Have a super fun week. And if you need some help creating more fun in your life, and you want to get serious about it, serious about fun, hire me to be your life coach for six months and we’ll get to work together creating a life that you can’t wait to get up in the morning to live. It’s so possible and it’s unbelievably fun. I adore you for showing up today and I’ll see you next Thursday.

Thanks for listening to Reinvented After 40. If you want more information or resources from the podcast, please visit KymShowersLifeCoach.com.