Ep 110. Run a Marathon

I’m Kym Showers and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 110, Run a Marathon.

Welcome to the Reinvented After 40 podcast. I am your host, Kym Showers, and I’m a certified life coach for women in the second half of life. Each week I’ll bring you direct advice and inspiring, practical wisdom to help you live your very best life and create a future you’re absolutely obsessed with. It’s going to be fun, let’s get started.

Hey, everyone, welcome back to the podcast. How are you today? It is what, almost towards the end of October when you’re listening to this craziness. It’s the middle of October right now as I am recording this. Guess what I’m doing on Saturday? Me and my cute daughter are going to see Taylor Swift at the theater. I was so excited when I saw the Eras Tour was coming up to the theaters. And I was like, “Just tell me when I can buy my ticket. And I will be the first one.” So we’re going to go sit in recliners and Clancy’s already got to go to the Eras Tour in person.

But she wanted to come with me to the theater and I’m so excited about it. I’m going to get dressed up. I’m just going to pretend Taylor’s sitting right next to me. So I’m super looking forward to that. And then on that same note, our son Riley and his cute girlfriend, Caitlin and her son Milo, who is adorable and he’s 10 years old, Caitlin comes from Kansas City. And so she’s been a Kansas City Chiefs fan her whole life. And so they go back periodically to Kansas City Chiefs game and they’re actually there today. And Taylor Swift is going to be there tonight at the game.

So they’re going to get to be at a Taylor Swift, Kansas City Chiefs game. Taylor’s going to be running things there too. So exciting, so funny, so fun. She’s just everything right now. I just love her so much. I’m just keeping my eye on her. But really, truly, you guys, I mean, you cannot help but be inspired by her, I mean come on. And I love the whole Eras idea because we all have our eras. And to be able to think about them, she doesn’t tell the story about our life the way that she does.

She has her albums, obviously, that depict almost this exact story of her life. Because of the way that she has been so vulnerable and honest about her life and her songs, writing all about her life story, her heart breaks, her loves and her heart breaks. And just her journey and through her songs and then to have so much to show for it and to be proud of. And then to up-level everything and then just to show us what a badass entrepreneur looks like. Someone who believes in herself and knows her value. I think that’s what’s been the most inspiring for me.

To show up and re-record all of the albums that kind of got, I don’t know, hijacked from her, I guess, I could say. But honestly, I can see, if you know that story where the rights to her songs got sold to somebody else and not her. According to her they weren’t even offered to her, which she would have purchased them. But we’re so glad she didn’t. So the universe was conspiring in her favor, even though it was just a huge frustration for her and disappointment. And she was very mad about it. She decided to re-record all of her albums. And they’re even better than the originals.

So we win. It was just a win/win all the way around. And so that’s what I want to talk to you about today, just how our lives are win, win, wins when we decide to see them that way. And the reason I’m calling this Run a Marathon, is because I just zoom out and look at my life as the long game, the long path. It is this incredible story of a bunch of eras and it is a marathon.

At times it feels like a sprint and I like that but overall I’m never in a rush. I’m never in a hurry because life is a marathon. But also as a metaphor I wanted to tell you, if you haven’t seen the movie, Brittany Runs a Marathon. I think it’s on Netflix. I want you to go watch that movie. Watch Brittany Runs a Marathon. I watched it maybe a month ago, couple weeks ago, three weeks ago or so. I had watched it when it first came out. And then I came across, when I was looking for something to watch a few weeks ago.

And I was like, “I think I’m going to watch that again.” Because I just kind of remembered when I was watching it, it’s kind of painful to watch because Brittany, she’s just a beautiful girl who is very stuck, just with very much a lot of self-doubt and just in a crummy life. She just ended up living, I think she was 20 or in her 20s or something. I don’t want to ruin the movie for you. But some of the parts are kind of hard to watch just because it’s like, oh, girl, you’re so much better than this. Don’t live like this. She just got kind of stuck in bad habits, let’s just call it that.

And she just was living this life just barely kind of surviving and just there was no reason for it other than you could just see she was just stuck in bad habits. And so that just gave her just a crummy life that she hated. And then she had got the idea to apply or I don’t know if you apply for the New York City Marathon. She lives in New York. And she got the idea to have the goal to run the New York City Marathon. And so that’s what the rest of the movie’s about. She just had this goal.

And there was no possible way she could even run one mile when she signed up for the New York City Marathon or decided to run it. And her brain, of course, tried to talk her out of it a million times. And you could just kind of see her starts and stops and starts and stops and just her own battle with herself. And her self-esteem was so low. I want you just to watch her evolution. I want you to pay attention to the way that she just fought for herself and how powerful setting that almost impossible goal for her.

And just what happened between the beginning and the end of the movie is so important for us women in the second half of life. This is why I say I called this Run a Marathon. That’s why I tell you, start a business. That’s why I say, always have a goal in front of you. We’ve got to have something that we’re fighting for. Sometimes it feels even impossible. Maybe we just pick something out of our league. But everything in Brittany’s life changed because she decided to run a marathon.

And I just watch my clients, when they decide to sign up for coaching and go all in on them and invest in them. And I mean, sometimes it’s the most money they’ve ever spent on themselves when they come and start working with me. And they’re just betting on themselves. And it’s terrifying because our brain will offer us thoughts all the time like, we’re never going to do it. And you’ll watch Brittany do that, too. Her brain’s just relentless, you’re never going to do this. You’ll never do it. And my clients tell me that too.

They’re just so afraid that they’re not going to do what they really want to do. And I’m like, “Yeah, my brain tells me that too all the time.” The difference is I don’t give it any attention. I don’t believe it. I don’t attach to that thought. I override that thought every single time. And I just keep at the disciplines that I have every day which I call a life of training. So we’re going to use the marathon analogy.

If you sign up for a marathon, you have to, no matter what, put yourself in a life of training. You’ve got to start running every day if you’re going to go and run 26 miles.

So I don’t know how long it took Brittany to train but let’s just say six months. I don’t know, I can’t even remember. But that’s not even the point. It doesn’t even matter how long it takes but I call me and my life a life of training and I love it. I love that I’m in a life of training. And there are so many perks to it because I’m pretty much fit, mentally fit, emotionally fit, spiritually fit, physically fit to say yes to anything I want to do. Now, I haven’t been training for a marathon, but I’m very strong, I’m very fit. I ran two miles this morning on the treadmill in 16 minutes.

I’m pretty sure that I could go out and jog a marathon, maybe have to walk in between a few miles, totally fine. But I have enough confidence in myself because I am in a life of training and because I do train every day. and the way that I take care of my body and because of my mental agility and emotional resilience and really my fortitude and my focus. I have just been in a total life of training the last six years. And so I could probably legit maybe jog a marathon right now, even though I wasn’t particularly training for a marathon.

But I could go give it a shot and just see what happens. That’s the belief I have in myself. That’s what I’m thinking. But I always have goals that I’m working for. I always have something in front of me. And so the importance of that is that it requires me to show up every day. And it requires me to be committed to myself and to my goal. And this is what I was telling my clients this week too.

I like to think of my life like my life depends on it because I know the power of the lower brain. I look around me, I see a lot of women in the second half of life who don’t believe in themselves, who are kind of stuck in low level fearful living. They’re afraid they can’t make any money. They’re afraid their husband’s not going to like it if they change. They’re just kind of stuck. And their life is not what it could be and not really what they want it to be. And they’re just a little bit disappointed in themselves and in the way everything’s turned out.

But I’m the opposite of that, because I’ve just kind of broken out of that mold. And I decided to run a marathon. I decided to go into a life of training. I decided I was worth more than that, my life’s worth more than that. And I decided to be an example of what’s possible for every woman in the second half of life. I think Taylor Swift decided that too. Well, it sounds fun. What are some good ideas? She’s full of good ideas. So I just put my brain to work every day because I know my brain is full of good ideas too. So I don’t tell myself that it isn’t.

I don’t tell myself that I’m not good enough or that I’m too old. I tell myself that I’m just getting started. And that I’m more than good enough and I’m more than capable and I’m more than smart enough and I’m more than beautiful enough, I’m more than strong enough. Those are the thoughts that I’ve been practicing for so long that I absolutely believe them and they serve me so well every day. And that’s why I’ve been able to create this very colorful, vibrant, happy, motivated life for myself and it is contagious. It is contagious for you.

And then when you pick up on it and you decide to run a ‘marathon’, I’m just using it as a metaphor, or I really do want you to run a marathon. You totally could sign up for a marathon. Get in the lottery for the next New York City Marathon. Why not? Or the Boston Marathon and then start running, start training every day. Hire a running coach. Hire me to coach you as your mindset coach. It will change everything, I promise you it will.

So starting a business six years ago has been my marathon. It has been the best thing that I’ve ever decided to do. It has changed the complete direction of my life, the way that I think and feel about myself every day, the way that I show up every day, the way that I talk to myself in my head every day. The people I hang out with, the people that I’m drawn to, it has changed my relationships with the people that I love the most. They’re just so different. I just do not spend any time or maybe I do, I keep saying I’m not a people pleaser anymore and I’ve healed my codependency.

But honestly, you guys, I see signs of both of those pop up every once in a while. So that’s just good to know. As a 62 year old woman, are we ever 100% healed from the thoughts, even the thinking of co-dependent thoughts, and that I’m responsible for other people’s feelings? Do I take things personally? I do sometimes, I still do. But the difference between me now and the me then is that I don’t attach to it anymore. I don’t react to it anymore. I just know it’s a thought, a memorized thought I’m feeling and I let it all be okay. I welcome it and I let it all be okay.

And it’s so powerful to be able to live this way. And the reason that I can win, win, win at life every day is that I know how to harness the feelings that I really want to feel all day long. And I know I’ve told you this before, but when you’re training for a marathon, you have off days, you have to take some rest days. And I take rest days and I love that about myself. I love to be bored. I plan to be bored on some Saturdays, some Sundays. I just decide I’m not going to do anything. I’m not going to think about anything. I’m not going to do anything. I’m just going to chill all day.

If I just want to read People magazines all day and watch the ocean, that’s what I do. If I just want to be bored or if I want to watch Netflix all day, that’s what I do. And it does, I feel bored and it’s so good for me to feel bored and take a day off because my nervous system just really needs to rest and lay low and not be overstimulated. So I know that about myself. So get to know yourself, trust yourself, love yourself.

I was just listening to a podcast. I’m obsessed with Rich Roll’s podcast right now. So I’ve been just binging. He has so many episodes. So grateful for him and the work he’s done in his life. And he’s just been teaching me so much. And I appreciate all the work he’s done in the world and gosh, all the interviews, all the interesting people in the world. You guys, there are so many beautiful people, so many beautiful women doing incredible things, gutsy women, gritty women, talented, so intelligent, just badass. just doing big things in the world and even women in their 60s and in their 70s.

But I was just listening to a podcast last night. A lot of times I lay in bed and listened to one of his episodes. And he was interviewing, it’s an older episode and I can’t remember the doctor’s name, but it’s a specialist on sleep. And so they just had this really long, very interesting, informative conversation about the power of sleep and how important sleep is to us and our nervous system and our brain. We just need a good eight or nine hours of deep sleep every night.

And so you know me, that’s been so important to me and I’m so glad I paid attention to that, what was it, 12 years ago when I decided I need to sleep by myself. I just am not getting a good night’s sleep. And then I coach a lot of women on this as far as how different we are when we haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep, we’re different. We see things differently. We’re more reactive and we’re harder on ourselves and we’re harder to be around and we really don’t like our life. Everything feels easily overwhelming to us.

But when we get a good night’s sleep, when we’re in the habit and we take all the disciplines, because I definitely have a night time routine. And it’s a pretty disciplined clean routine where I just wind down. And I just get all set up and aligned to give myself a really good night’s sleep because it’s that important to me. There’s no pressure on me, that I look so forward to it. So I tell you, I don’t do anything after four o’clock most nights, six nights a week, I just lay low. I’m not very social at all.

If I’m not with my kids or with my sister and her family, I’m really not with anybody else. So remember, I don’t have any friends over here that I hang out with and so I kind of like it that way for now. Because I really just like my low key evenings because I like to be very energetic during the day. I love everything that’s on my schedule every day because I’m running a marathon. Everything’s very specific that I spend my brain energy on. I do not think about things that are not in my lane. I do not think about things that are not on my schedule. My brain does not wander.

So if you have a wandering brain, I want you to focus it on what you have planned for the day and stop letting your brain interrupt your own plans. That’s why a life of training is a life of direction, of purpose, of meaning. It’ll give you the energy that you’re longing for, but you have to fight for it. You have to decide, you have to go all in and be committed. First of all, go watch Brittany Runs a Marathon. I really just want you to sit there and I want you to pay attention to her journey.

I want you to watch her fight for what she wants, fight for herself. And then I want you to think about your life and where you are right now and what would your life look like if you decided to run a marathon? How would you change your life, your habits, the people you hang out with, the way that you spend your time during the day? The time you go to bed at night, the time you get up in the morning, the way that you think about things, the way that you feel about things. You have to take charge 100% of your life. So I really want you to run a marathon.

I want you to decide and choose something that feels a little bit impossible for you so that you can up-level your life, so that you can start living your dreams. So that you can become the disciplined woman that you’ve always wanted to be. So that’s the beauty of setting goals. That’s the beauty of setting an impossible goal. It’ll get you out of your rut. And you have to fight for it. You don’t live a life based on your feelings, especially if you’re trying to change. So your brain is a pattern making machine.

So whatever you’re doing right now, your brain wants to keep doing, it likes the pattern, it likes the routine you’re in. And you’re going to see this when you watch Brittany try and get out of her old habits and get into some new habits. It’s such a fight. She’s fighting her brain. Her highest self is calling her forward, but her lower self, herself now that’s stuck in the rut, has dug her heels in. It’s like, I don’t think I’ll ever do it. Just be on to yourself, be onto your brain when your brain just tries to talk you out of it and it will, it’ll be relentless.

And a lot of the thought, a lot of the same thought that we all have is, I’ll never do it. I’ll just never do it. And here’s what the simplicity of that thought is. If you quit now, you’ll never do it, so that’s true. But if you don’t quit you will for sure do it. If you never quit, you’ll for sure do it, for sure, I guarantee it. If you keep at it and you never quit, you’re going to reach your goal, that’s for sure.

But what happens is we believe our brain when our brain goes to self-doubt, you’ll never do it. What will people think? You’ll never do it. You might as well quit now. And it’s so ironic, because then we quit and we never do it. So we prove that thought true. But I don’t fall for that anymore. I’m so onto my brain. I want you to be onto your brain too, your highest self, your best self. My 70 year old self keeps calling me forward and so I just keep doing it. I keep doing it. I’m living the long game. I’m running the marathon. It’s the long path. I see the eras.

I see the era I’m in now and I love it so much. I’m telling this brilliant story of my life and I want you to do the same thing, my friend, you absolutely, 100% have a brilliant story. You’re amazing. Look how much you’ve created in your life so far. I want you to be able to look back at it and tell it in such an optimistic, proud way. I want you to be so proud of yourself and so satisfied with how far you’ve come. And then get excited about what you’re creating for your future.

Set that goal and then get to work fighting for it, fighting for it like your life depends on because it does, our best life depends on it. Our best, highest self depends on us saying yes to us right now every single day, lining up what we do every single day as if we’re in a life of training for the New York City Marathon. Sign up for the marathon, run the marathon. It’ll be so worth it for you. And come work with me, you guys.

So this is my offer for you today. My next group starts in January but let me tell you, coming to work with me, signing up now, you’re going to get so many bonuses. You can’t even sign up for my January group quite yet, but in a couple of weeks you’re going to be able to sign up for it. The first week of November, the doors are open for that January group and you are not going to want to miss it.

But if you sign up early, you’re going to have access to my new portal. My new membership portal is filled with so many magical tools, very helpful videos and teachings that you can just access the minute you sign up for that January group. And you will get, well, it depends on when you sign up, but you’re going to get some one-on-one coaching from me before then. And you’re going to get my new Kym Showers planner, six month planner that is so helpful, so darling, I’ll put it in the mail to you right away along with your workbook so you can just get started ahead of time.

So I just want you to know that’s something to look forward to. The doors are open the first week of November. You can sign up as early as then. And you’ll get lots of bonuses for signing up early. You’ll be so glad you did. Do not wait and might as well get the new year off to a great start the first week of November.

Alright, thanks for showing up today. I love you all. I want you to run a marathon or start a business, set a goal that feels impossible. It’ll be the best gift you ever gave yourself in the second half of life, which is the very best half of life.

Alright, I’ll talk to you next Thursday.

If you love this podcast, I invite you to come work with me. Go to kymshowerslifecoach.com, sign up for my next group and retreat, and let’s create your dream life together.